The mountains, sans bears - Part II

I have decided to treat today as if it were March 20th all over again. That being said, I can move forward with my recollection of the longest trip I've taken as an adult...

Essentially, the Saturday of our arrival was a "get to know" day; we explored the city and surrounding area a bit (to hell with the front desk woman and her ridiculous directions...), scoped out the chalet, and, when more people, people who I knew little about, arrived, shot the shit, you know, became all friendly-like (you gotta do that kind of thing if you have to spend that much time with people...). Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, we made a trip to the local hemp shop. I enjoyed that, even though I banged my head against a glass case, essentially making myself look like a buffoon in front of the hippies working there. Luckily, they did not make fun of me - I suspect this was because they work at a hemp store...

Sunday was only slightly more eventful. Despite driving around for several hours, I was unable to find a church to attend (I'm laughing pretty hard at that...), so we ended up waiting around the chalet for the arrival (I feel like I've used variants of the word "arrive" too much already...) of yet more people, people who were key parts to the fun machine. When they got to Sevierville, we got to go meet them! It was so sweet driving back through Pigeon Forge! I had secretly been worried that I'd never again look upon its crystal palaces or streets of gold!

After the melding of parties, we went to Wal-Mart, which was absolutely chock full of ugly. Not the normal, southern Kentucky ugly I'm accustomed to, either. I don't know what kind of creatures mated to produce the kind of ugly I saw at Super Wal-Mart in Sevierville, but I'll say this - I wasn't aware that said creatures existed outside of folklore, nightmares, or the state of Indiana. Later, I spent a significant amount of time drinking freshly-thawed Captain Morgan (how it froze is beyond me...) and, um, antiquing. My memories of what happened after that ass-kicking antique meet are a bit fuzzy, but apparently I incorporated the statement "so, I hear you study vaginas," into hot tub conversation. The last things I do remember of the night were faking a phone call so I could take a nap on the stairs, then trying to pass out, and basically begging my buddy, who likes to fuck with me, not to fuck with me...

Holy shit, I just coughed up a big glob of something...

On that note, I'll retire from writing for a bit. Maybe more will come today, maybe not. I'm not going to set a time or date for the continuation of my saga, I'm not good with deadlines, or even remembering that I have a blog, really...

But, more will come. I'm building up to Thursday. That day, man... Wow...